A Priceless Masterpiece: personal

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

I spent my weekend in Thousand Oaks, CA at a Ladies Retreat with a group of women from my church. On Friday night I had the distinct privilege to photograph each and every woman attending the retreat for a special project the leaders had planned. I didn't know about it ahead of time, it was a last minute "Hey, you're a photographer. Can you do this?" type of thing.

When our Friday night session was coming to a close and it was announced that before you could leave the conference room you had to be photographed. Immediately groans and verbal protests filled the room. Eventually a line was formed and for the next 45 minutes I had one on one contact with each woman and heard countless pleas for skipped turns, comments about being ugly, or not photogenic, or hating pictures in general.

As I walked into my hotel room that night my heart hurt.

I'm a photographer, taking pictures is what I do. Nothing warms my heart more than being able to show someone through photograph how beautiful they are, no matter what their personal opinion may be. To hear so many people so opposed to even try to look for that beauty in themselves resonated in me.

The main thing it resonated in me was hypocrite.

Who am I to find beauty in others when I don't want look long enough to find it in myself? Everywhere I go I hide behind my camera, using it to shield me from myself. I dread looking at photos of myself and openly cringe when I'm tagged in a photograph on Facebook. This isn't news to anyone who knows me.

Who am I to make a judgement call on all of these women when I'm just like them?

When I look at these pictures I see women who inspire me. I see Jane, Pam, Antoinette, Kathy, Debbie, Alexis, and Terri. Women who may never read this post. Women I see in passing every Sunday and Wednesday at church. We may not even exchange more than a simple "Hi" but the example they have set for me as a 20-something will forever be imprinted in my mind. They are women I want to be like when I grow up.



My friend Alexis knows me better than basically anyone in the world, and on Saturday I asked her if she would help me by taking a few photographs of me. We wandered for 30 minutes just between our room and the conference room. It was uncomfortable and awkward and I wanted to hate it, but I did it anyway. This weekend that's the most tangible thing I learned, I didn't have a typical crying altar call retreat moment. I had a mini hotel parking lot photo session where I tried to appreciate something in myself that too often I try to ignore: I am a priceless masterpiece.

Happy Monday!







Sometimes, you make weird faces. That's life, and you just have to embrase it.


And sometimes, you look at a picture of yourself and actually like it.